Something

I feel as if I have nothing meaningful to write at the moment. Furthermore, this block has plagued me for some time… I’m off center. For several months the kilter of my world has had a 45° axis that twists and turns of its own accord. Unfortunately, I have had a hell of a time trying to re-center myself. But, to my chagrin I have failed miserably. I want to live in a cave for a month. I want the isolation of a sleeping city. I want the blackness of a wheat field at midnight. Somehow, I need to drag myself up from this sludgy pit of self-pity and find the humanity in people again. There are always glimmers of hope, like my parents or the closest of friends. However, these people are semi distant from my life and I miss them all terribly. I have been slowly sliding into my old addictions and vices. How can I save myself from this segregation that I so utterly crave? What the hell am I supposed to do by myself? Why are the machines eating away at me so? In some way I must find a way to return them from their steely shells, rebirthing them to flesh. Hence, I can try to save them while at the same time saving myself.

Maybe I will be able to write again? I do so miss writing…

Forgive me.

Abstraction Pt. 6

MAKE OF IT WHAT YOU WILL

This is for you and you alone. Whoever you are, you are allowed to read this and make your own assumptions and explorations. This passage may lead you into a deep internal dispute, perhaps it will simply spark a bit of fantasy or maybe a neutral reaction. Fire and lightning, calm springs eternal, vengeance, forgiveness, passiveness. What is written here for you may determine the rest of your life... Perhaps not. After all, less and more confusing words have started wars or proposed marriage. Words written here, or there, all are subjective. Only you can decide what meaning they have.

When an authour sends out words he/she gives them up. The words may have meant something initially to the author. However, upon sending them into the world, that initial meaning becomes meaningless. Each person who takes in the words will create new meaning, along with each person after that and subsequently after that. Words written will endlessly evolve, devolve, mutate and transform. Infinite permutations of perspective and meaning will encompass a single passage like a warm blanket.

Thus, this brief interlude may change your life, like it did mine when I thought about it years ago. However, you may just smile and shrug it off. The meaning I had for these words no longer matters in the grand scale of life. Perhaps, these words will make a difference for you, or someone else.

Words are vulnerable to interpretation. No one word will mean the same to you as it does to me.

Take these words and do with them as you will.

Enjoy them.

Hate them.

Love them.

Remember them.

Forget them.

Reconstruct them.

Deny or reject them.

Share them.

Keep them.

I have no control over them anymore. They belong to you and you alone.

Walking everywhere
down to hell, up to heaven
such simplicity

~

Legs, like the rest of the human body, are taken for granted...

Does anyone truly know the meaning of the writings of others?









Does anyone truly know the meaning of their own writings?

Abstraction Pt. 5

Walking into a room full of puppies. They muzzle into ones legs and nip toenails. The puppies grow into beautiful white sheep, strong willed yet they follow a wolf. Over time the wolf takes each sheep aside. He asks each sheep, “Do you have the will to be a wolf”? Most sheep ponder the question for a mere second, saying “no” in the end. However, there may be the odd sheep that takes the time to think about it, they may say, “yes”.

In these rare instances the wolf will take another sheep from the herd, kill it and feed the odd sheep a mutton feast. If the sheep is willing to cannibalize its brethren it is given the privilege of becoming a wolf.


There are also black sheep, rarer than any sheep converted to wolfdom. These sheep are given the same opportunity and treatment by the wolves as all the others. However, when they are asked if they have the will of the wolf, the black sheep rear up and stomp down the wolf. They butt and kick until they slay said wolf. The black sheep then surpass the confines of hierarchy. They become a being unto themselves. While they are still dependant of others, they choose not to follow. Black sheep understand the meaning of life and love and they attempt to slay wolves in order to protect the white herds.

To slay may not be to kill.
To love is to love unconditionally.

Rebellion and Youth

To what end is rebellion necessary in youth? When youth is such an important period of life. One’s youth is a rapidly passing time when a body grows and is spiritually nurtured. Yet, many strive to destroy the beauty, which is developing. Drifting back and forth between self-abuse in mind and body. Drinking, pornography, sexuality, violence… etc. Are the many factors presented in youthful rebellion acceptable? Not always. Are they required to enter into adulthood? No. Are they the only forms of rebellion? No. One may be rebellious in a different way, going against the grain of what they are taught.

There are many forms of rebellion. To a degree they may be necessary in youth, though they may not be safe. To what end does such rebelliousness develop us as people? Does it develop us at all? Or in the case of abuse, is it just a way to escape from what things we love and what things we hate?

....

I saw a homeless man sitting in the snow by the river today. It happened so fast, I was riding the train and just as it went over a bridge I saw him, just for a glimpse. He had a long beard, he may have been rocking back and forth in a chill. He was shrouded and hidden in a forest of willow. The water underneath him frozen. There might have been someone he was talking to, but I didn't see. The glimpse passed so quickly.